Rick Goad

Tragedy to Trust
by Jackie Goad

Trusting people has never been difficult for me. I was raised in a small town in northeast Texas where people were just…well, good people. In my circle of friends and family, if they said it, they meant it…no questions asked. When introduced to Christ it was an easy decision, I followed what I had known my whole life, and trusted Him with everything.

However, at the age of 39, my life tragically changed and I found myself questioning everything and everybody, including God.On January 23, 2006, my husband Rick was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was like a movie …the Doctor comes in, a nurse escorts your children out of the room, the door is closed, and you are asked to sit down. We could not believe what we were hearing…. pancreatic cancer… inoperable….no cure…I’m so sorry….immediate intervention… chemotherapy….

After the shock of the news, I was numb. I don’t even remember the car ride home. I was trying to make sense of the information we were given, but it was futile.I do remember talking to God under my breath, asking “what is this? This cannot be. Rick is your child and he has been serving you and doing your work through his music and performing for over 25 years. He loves you with every fiber of his being. He has two young children who need him. I need him! I trust you and I know you are going to make all of this better and even heal his body so others can see a miracle.”

The first three months were fast and furious. We found our lives consumed with doctor’s visits, multiple testing procedures, and long chemotherapy sessions. Our bodies were drained, but our spirits encouraged. Every night we came together with our circle of support and had prayer and communion. These nights were very special times with God. He broke us and we thanked him for it. Trust was not an issue; it truly was all we had. Our faith was unshakable. Rick would often say, “Jackie, either God is in control or He’s not and I choose to believe He is.”

As the months lingered on I found Rick playing our piano much more frequently. He was an accomplished pianist, but there was something different about the songs he was composing. Often he would sit for hours. The melodies were absolutely beautiful, and the lyrics pierced my heart. I’ll never forget walking into our living room and seeing him at the piano burying his face in his hands and crying so hard that his whole body shook. “Honey, what is it?” I said. He said softly, “God keeps giving me songs.” One of our dearest friends was right when he told us Rick’s best work would be done during his darkest times. Rick’s extreme bouts of fear and anxiety didn’t push him away from God, they drew him closer to Him and the songs are evidence of that.

As chemotherapy came to an end, so did the completion of his musical legacy, “My Miracle” is the name Rick gave this last compilation of songs he had received from God. Just a few months after this great accomplishment, Rick’s body began to fail and on January 6, 2007, he passed from this life into eternity.

This is when my questions started to bombard my mind. I started questioning the accuracy of the doctors, the faith of people, my faith, and my trust in God. Why did this happen? My mind couldn’t comprehend and my heart was broken. It’s difficult to believe in something that doesn’t make sense anymore. The doubt turned to fear and began to plague my mind. I had a choice to silence its pain, so I turned to my greatest source of encouragement….Rick. His faith was contagious and his trust in God never wavered, even to the end.

A conviction came over me and I realized how much God loved Rick and me. I have come to a place where I can stop asking, “Why?” And start asking, “Why not?” God is sovereign and He knows best. Rick received his miracle…ultimate healing. God takes what is broken into a million pieces, and what looks as though can never be mended again, and he builds a monument of his great love. If we allow him to, he will build a monument of love, peace, and trust and show us that he as Father can taken even the worst of the troubled times and turn our sorrow into dancing.

Even in death, Rick’s life was all about giving, and anyone who knew him would echo that. The biggest part of Rick’s vision for his last CD “My Miracle” was giving it away. He knew when you give something away people are more likely to listen, to find hope and peace. This torch has now been passed on to me and I am honored to carry out Rick’s vision of giving one million copies away. Through high’s and low’s, up’s and down’s, breakdowns and breakthrough’s, from tragedy to trust, I have learned that God is faithful even when circumstances are screaming that he is not; he is the calm in the chaos.

My Miracle was written, recorded, and performed for the sole purpose to be God’s instrument of calm in the midst of chaos. In that sense Rick’s dream has already been fulfilled.

If you are interested in finding out more about Rick Goad Ministries (RGM), and how to give away 10-copies of Rick's CD "My Miracle" for free, please contact us at www.rickgoad.com

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight.